


🅶🅻🅸🆃🅲🅷

by Kizumess



Category: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, I mean what do you expect it's HLVRAI, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Strong Language, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24420469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kizumess/pseuds/Kizumess
Summary: Even the most perfected game is bound to have glitches. What does that say about an AI?
Comments: 37
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter 1

Benrey felt a sharp pain rip through his body as he struggled to hold up the closing fire door. His arms and legs trembled as he grit his teeth, but truthfully the door was not the issue. The weight of the mechanized metal certainly was not more than the man could handle. Hell, Benrey could have probably ripped this stupid door out of the wall altogether, but he remained in place. Even if it was one of those idiots who’d started this, he was determined to hold this damned door up. He hadn’t expected this pain, however, and he fought back the urge to scream.

“i’ll hold it up!” Benrey called out to the scientists in the hallway, cringing at how pained his voice sounded. That wasn’t cool at all.

He could hear Dr. Freeman shouting behind him, calling the others. Tommy was the first to duck under the heavy door, followed shortly by Dr. Coomer. Benrey couldn’t help but notice as the pain intensified with their safety. It felt like every nerve in his body was being fried, as if lightning had exploded through his veins. And for what? Trying to help? Pushing the thought aside, Benrey watched as Dr. Bubby sprinted down the hall towards the door. He barely registered the older man slipping past him as another wave of pain wracked his body.  
Unable to hold himself back, Benrey cried out from the pain as his legs began to buckle. Crumbling to the floor, Benrey stared up at the ceiling as he found himself lying on his back. He was dimly aware of the door resuming its descent overhead, but his body still felt like it was on fire.

“We’ll never forget you, Bipple!” Dr. Coomer shouted dramatically from a short distance away. God, Benrey wanted to punch him. Actually, this was the perfect angle to swipe the geezer off of his feet. As Benrey prepared to swing his arm he was met with an alarming realization. He couldn’t move at all. A loud gasp caught his attention and he looked to the source, making a mental correction that he could at least move his eyes. The voice belonged to Dr. Freeman, who stood at the back of the group clearly panicking.

“Someone move him, he’s not dead yet!” the scientist in the HEV suit yelled, stepping forward with trepidation. “He’s not dead yet! Get him out of the way!”

Benrey watched as the group crowded around him and the door neared ever closer to his paralyzed body lying right in its path. As Dr. Bubby crouched down at his side Benrey felt relief wash over him. The feeling quickly subsided, however, as he saw the smug grin stretched across the bespectacled scientist’s face.

“Rest in pieces!” Dr. Bubby spat, standing once again, and taking a step back to watch.

The last things Benrey heard were the shaky but unintelligible voice of Dr. Freeman and the beginning of a loud crunching noise before he saw black.

Benrey wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he came back to his senses. His mind was hazy and he was distracted by a dull ache throughout his torso. Bits and pieces of his memory came back as he looked around himself. Zeroes and ones flickered in and out of existence within the black void Benrey found himself standing in. That cleared one thing up at least. He had died.

Bringing himself back was simple enough but Benrey found himself sitting down on the inky nothingness instead. There was something weighing on his mind. What _had_ that pain been? Where had it come from and what had triggered it? Thinking back, the pain had only started when he’d attempted to hold the door open. There was no way some stupid fire door could have caused pain like that. It wasn’t even electrified! Benrey grumbled as he rested his head in his hands. He hadn’t been injured and there weren’t even any enemies around. There was no way holding a door open could have caused every cell, well, _pixel_ in his body to-

Pixels. Had he… had he actually _glitched?_

Grunting in frustration, Benrey let himself fall onto his back as he stared up at… nothing. Glitching definitely made the most sense, but that was way too cringey. He could mess with this game’s coding for hours on end and reshape himself however he pleased! Why would he glitch out now of all times? With some hesitation, Benrey flexed his hand and watched as his fingertips morphed to become clawlike. The transition was smooth, flawless, and most importantly, not glitchy. With that, Benrey let out a sigh of relief. Okay, if that was a one-time glitching thing he’d be okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was partly inspired by how Benrey's model instantly ragdolls as soon as the science team is past the fire door in Act 1 and partly inspired by the song The Mind Electric by Miracle Musical!


	2. Chapter 2

Benrey couldn’t quite remember when he’d initially become aware of the game around him. It seemed like it had been years ago, but there was no real way to measure time inside of a game like this. The game had been running on some kind of loop, never getting too far into any semblance of a story. He’d come to accept his role as a minor character in some dumb demo of some dumb game… yeah right. As soon as he’d figured out how to, he never stopped messing with the code. He blew things up, gave himself impossible weapons, and figured out some weird party trick. He could sing colors and that was rad as hell. Benrey had even died a handful of times while testing the waters. After finding out what pain felt like however, he’d try to avoid it. The important thing was that he’d managed to keep himself occupied in this tiny map as time looped endlessly. Until it didn’t.

He’d been forcibly spawned at his designated loading point out of nowhere. He was about to shrug it off when he heard an unfamiliar voice. He watched in awe as what was normally the empty shell of the “Player” walked down the hall, suddenly seeming much more alert and… alive? And……? Oh yeah, Benrey could roll with this.

With a few adjustments to the code, Benrey was well on his way to joining up with the others. He’d set his coordinates to what he estimated to be a good few miles away from the party’s current location and waited to materialize on the map. Oh, he couldn’t wait to see the confusion and frustration on Freeman’s face.

Oh damn, had they actually made it outside? The demo never went this far! That definitely meant the game was being played for real this time. Benrey stared up at the sky for the first time, feeling the cool breeze against his face. Grey clouds rolled overhead and an odd rumbling sound reverberated through the area. Jagged reddish mountains lined the map and the map itself was dotted with large crates. And lots of soldiers. That wasn’t good. Slipping past a handful of soldiers, Benrey hid behind a crate, pulling his knees to his chest. He’d wait for those losers here. He’d just- wait what the fuck?

Staring down at what were supposed to be his arms and legs, Benrey was met with bone. Turning his left hand over in front of his face he marveled at the sight, surprised that he could even feel with it. Curiously, he lifted it to brush against his face. More bone. He was a goddamn skeleton. This was awesome.

It was a few minutes later when the air was filled with the sound of gunfire and screaming that Benrey decided this was _not_ awesome. He really didn’t feel like dying again, so when a soldier rounded the side of the crate he was leaning against, he took that as his cue to run. God, he had no idea where he was going. It was his first time out here, completely unarmed and in the midst of a gunfight. He only stopped when he saw a flash of bright orange. Was that-?

“HOLY SHIT A SKELETON!”

Yup.

Luckily, Benrey had managed to make it through an exit back into Black Mesa during the whole mess. The only problem now was knowing that the party was bound to be close behind him and he still looked like a living Halloween decoration. So farther in he ventured, hoping that he’d be safer inside than outside in that hellscape. So far so good at least. No giant alien monsters, not even a headcrab. It was just Benrey and the echoing tap of bone on metal as he walked through the empty research facility.

“What is that?” A voice came from the end of the hallway and Benrey almost screamed. Almost.

Rather, he finds himself frozen in place. Not like before, no, but now he’s actually scared of something. Because the four men at the end of the hall all have guns pointed at him.

“Hello?!” the voice calls out again and Benrey can see now that it’s Dr. Freeman. Throwing caution to the wind, Benrey opens his jaw and is relieved to find that his Black Mesa sweet voice still works like this.

He keeps it simple, just some blue to warn the others. Only that doesn’t seem to keep them back, quite the opposite in fact. The group slowly walked towards him, guns still trained on what they see as a potential threat, and he doesn’t blame them. In what Benrey hopes is a non-threatening manner, he takes a step forward.

“D-don’t come any closer! Stay back, stay back!” the man yells as he himself backs up. He turns to the group and begins whispering. Benrey can’t tell what they’re saying but he doesn’t have the best feeling about it.

“I could always punch it.” Dr. Coomer suggests, perhaps a bit too loudly. Benrey instinctively spat more blue sweet voice as the group continued to back away. Neither party knew exactly what to do as they stared each other down in the dark hallway. Benrey assumes the worst as he watches Dr. Freeman give a silent command, but is inspired by a sudden thought: Tommy-Tommy knows how to read sweet voice! 

That’s a start at least. Straightening his posture, Benrey let out a long stream of green orbs.

“Wait, no!” Tommy suddenly cried out, causing the other men to lower their weapons.

“Wh-what? Do you know what it is?”

“That’s green!”

“What does green mean?!”

“Green means _he’s_ not mean!”

Yesss! Tommy understood! Which would be great if he wasn’t distracted by another sharp pain. It came out of nowhere suddenly, just like when he’d held up the door, only this time it felt worse. He hadn’t thought that was possible. It felt like someone had jabbed a knife between each of his ribs, and _twisted hard_. Pure pain blossomed in Benrey’s chest and he clawed desperately at his exposed ribcage. The pain was so intense that he could barely see straight and as he opened his mouth to scream- sweet voice. Lots of it, and it was _loud_. All four scientists covered their ears, desperate to block out the shrill sound.

“TAKE THE SHOT,” Dr. Bubby screamed over the high pitched sweet voice. “I CAN’T HANDLE IT!”

Oh shit.

Benrey barely registered what was happening before bullets flew at him, shattering fragments of bone.

_Oh shit!_

Benrey scrambled to get away as the four men suddenly gave chase. Bullets ricocheted off of the floor and hallway walls as the skeleton struggled to fight back the pain. Being chased down by the main character and three lunatics was definitely not how he’d expected this game to go. At the very end of the hallway, Benrey spotted what was possibly his only reprieve since his recent revival: an open vent. It wasn’t ideal but at this point, he was desperate for safety.

Using a bit of edited code, Benrey jumped at just the right angle to reach the vent, crawling inside as quickly as he could. He watched from above as the crew blindly chased and shot after nothing in their frenzy. Idiots. Laying heavily onto his side he allowed himself to finally rest as he surveyed the damage to his new “body”.

Just when he’d hoped this glitching problem wouldn’t be serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha whoops, Benrey's learning shit as he goes!


	3. Chapter 3

Crawling through the vents was harder than Benrey had expected it to be, especially when he was still in pain. The stabbing pain in his chest had faded away, but the sting of fresh bullet wounds hurt like hell. He was pretty sure he’d even been shot in the head if this horrible headache was anything to go by. Reaching a bony hand up to meet his exposed skull, he felt a thick crack that connected to his left eye socket. Cautiously, Benrey ran his fingers along the crack as it zigzagged over his forehead. Eventually, the crack widened into a decently sized hole with many more spiderweb cracks sprouting from it about three inches above where his eye should have been. Reaching toward the back of his head, Benrey felt for an exit wound but was met with nothing but smooth bone. Pausing for a moment, Benrey shook his head slightly. A rattling noise told him all he needed to know; the goddamn bullet was stuck in his skull. He would have laughed at the absurdity of the situation if he weren’t in so much pain. Or hiding from the group of scientists. There wasn’t much he could do besides continue to crawl along the vents in hopes that they would lead him to safety. What would they do to him if he ran into them again? Would he even be able to get a word out before they riddled him with more bullets? How long was he going to be stuck as a skeleton for, anyway? All of Benrey’s thoughts came to a crashing halt however when he leaned forward too heavily and he felt one of his fractured ribs snap beneath him. Curling in on himself, Benrey clenched his teeth as white-hot pain flared in his chest. Activating like some primal instinct, he could feel sweet voice rising in his nonexistent throat. Despite his clenched teeth, the colorful orbs flowed freely from the hollows of his bony jaw. Somewhere far below him, he could hear shouting. Great, they must’ve heard him. Laying down gingerly on his side in resignation, Benrey sighed. He knew he should keep moving, they could find him easily after that mistake after all. But dying would probably hurt a lot less than breaking another bone.

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

Without any warning, Benrey was suddenly standing upright. In an elevator. With the scientists.

Oh hell no.

Benrey hurried to edit the code as quickly as the game would let him. The seconds felt like minutes as they ticked by. Within moments, Benrey was gone.

What _was_ that? A glitch? A spawn point? Had anyone even seen him? He’d hoped to get out of there as soon as possible, but there was no way to tell. And now he was… where was he? He’d never been in this part of the building before and he hadn’t exactly had the luxury of knowing where he would end up this time. Before Benrey could properly look around his new surroundings, he heard voices. So he hadn’t gotten far at all, this was wonderful. Noticing a vent shaft that sat below the ceiling, Benrey made a quick edit to the code once again, this time aiming to perch on top of it.

“Let’s close up the silo so we can sleep here.” Dr. Freeman’s voice came from the hallway below.

Benrey peered over the edge of the vent down at the party of odd men. Unfortunately as ever for Benrey though, Dr. Freeman turned his head just as he’d finished speaking. Dammit.

“Hey, look up guys!” the man instantly spotted the skeleton and aimed his gun once more. “Can we really sleep here?”

Benrey nervously hummed a few notes of sweet voice as the men below him looked to one another.

“Maybe he’s here to protect us.” Dr. Coomer offered as Dr. Freeman took a few steps forward.

Benrey wanted to hide, to teleport again, but what more was stalling going to do at this point? Everything hurt and these people could offer an easy solution to that problem. Weighing the pros and cons of the situation in his mind, Benrey stood from his spot. Best case scenario, they listen to him. Worst case scenario, he gets shot and gets to start over with no wounds. Careful not to hurt himself in the process, Benrey slid off of the vent shaft and jumped to the ground. All eyes were on him as he stepped towards them.

“What are you?” Dr. Freeman asked with what sounded like genuine curiosity. That was good. Curiosity was much better than hostility. Maybe this was the best case scenario after all?

“it’s me, benrey. i don’t know why i look like this.” he explained. Except that’s not what happened when he opened his mouth.

“can i see your passport?” Benrey stared straight ahead at Dr. Freeman, who was beginning to look rather angry. Why had he just said that?

“What did you just fucking say to me?”

“you’re not supposed to be in here.” No! Why was he saying that?! He had meant to say something completely different!

“Uhh, I’m ending the simulation.” the man muttered to himself, grabbing his head in his hands and closing his eyes tightly. As if on cue with the player’s frustration, the other scientists began aiming their guns as he spoke. “I can’t take any more of this, _I can’t take any more of this_.”

Several loud gunshots rang out through the hallway as Benrey collapsed to the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

Benrey drifted listlessly in the deafening silence of the void as he became aware of his surroundings. Relief flooded his still-waking mind though everything still hurt, the feeling was almost muted in an odd way though. How many times had he been shot? It was hard to tell. But here he was in this black void once again. An intangible existence between lives; between the past that had betrayed him and the future yet to be played. Extending an arm out in front of him to examine himself upon death, Benrey let out a deep sigh.

Goddamnit. He was still a fucking skeleton.

Pacing back and forth through the pitch-black did nothing to settle his nerves as Benrey tried to think things over. He had so many questions and no answers to ease his mind. Why hadn’t dying reset the skeleton thing? And what had triggered it in the first place? It had to be another glitch like the random pain, but it didn’t make any sense! He’d be fine one minute and then in excruciating pain the next for no good reason! And what had been up with his dialogue right before he’d been killed? Spouting stupid preprogrammed lines when he had clearly meant to speak his mind? He wasn’t some dumb NPC… for some reason that thought made his skin crawl. Well, it would have if he’d _had_ any skin right now.

Growling in frustration, Benrey ripped at the open air in front of him, intent on getting to the bottom of this. The space in front of him distorted and sparked as a jagged hole appeared in the fabric of the odd void. Benrey peered inside at the shifting code as it flowed freely in an endless stream of letters, numbers, and symbols. The code was so much easier to manipulate in this place where nobody could see his actions. Digging a bony finger inside the tear, Benrey ripped away more and more of the black shroud obscuring what he was after. When he felt satisfied with the sizeable hole he’d created Benrey reached out to touch the code, watching as it brushed past his phalanges. The security guard set about pushing lines of code aside and sifting through binary as he searched for his own file. It had been quite a while since Benrey had actively edited his own coding, perhaps he could find the source of the glitch and rewrite it properly. Or maybe something in his file had changed with the start of the game? Whatever the case was, Benrey was determined to find the answer.

Sighing as he finally located his file within the ever-shifting code of the world around him, Benrey pulled it out of the hole to examine its contents. Opening the file, he was greeted with massive lines of code; much more code than he was familiar with. It was almost overwhelming in a way, staring at himself as his code laid bare, only so much had been added since the last time he had looked. Had there been a patch of some kind? That was the only reasonable explanation Benrey could think of. Must have been some update to make the NPCs more friendly or something. Extra dialogue options or… or commands telling them to do something new. Benrey tried to ignore the feeling of uncertainty rising in his chest as he scrolled through the code-god it just kept going! Skimming through blocks of perfect code, Benrey searched for anything that could seem out of the ordinary. His hand froze as it hovered above a particular section that he definitely hadn’t remembered seeing before.

< skeleton >

Why would a default model NPC security guard have a section of code dedicated to turning into a skeleton?! None of this made sense! Benrey stared at the text, dumbfounded by this discovery before he began to read the following code in the section. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, however, there were all of the basics like position and scale. None of the code appeared to be corrupted or misspelled. A function that he hadn’t been expecting caught Benrey’s attention and the guard stared at it quizzically.

setVisibility  
(Tommy Coolatta, Harold Coomer Ph.D., Bubby, Player)

Did this mean that he could choose to make himself visible or invisible to select characters? Benrey mindlessly tapped at the code as he considered making an edit. Perhaps if fewer people saw the skeleton, he would be able to communicate without being shot down again? Nodding to himself, Benrey began deleting text.

setVisibility  
(Player)

Benrey took a step backward in shock as the code in front of him warped and stretched unnaturally before popping out of existence altogether.

“hey, i wasn’t done with that!” Benrey yelled out into the empty void. The void, or whatever force had done that, didn’t seem to care enough to respond as the world around him seemed to slow to a halt before the indefinite silence of the void was broken by the sound of harsh static.

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

Colors flashed at nearly imperceivable speeds as zeroes and ones rushed to fill in the gaps. The map began to load around Benrey piece by piece. The forced respawn must have meant that the player had opened the game again. He had said something about “ending the simulation” after all. Benrey simply watched in silence as the map finished loading and the models began to load in. This felt like something he shouldn’t be witnessing. As Dr. Freeman and the other scientists loaded into the game, Benrey stood behind the group as they crowded the player and called out to him softly as if he had just woken up.

“So that w- that wasn’t a dream?” Dr. Freeman asked groggily. Benrey scoffed quietly, the guy sure was good at staying in character.

“What wasn’t a dream, Gordon?” Dr. Coomer asked as the man rolled onto his side, staring straight ahead. Benrey stared down at him carefully; he hadn’t seen the man without his HEV suit’s helmet attached before. Dr. Freeman had glasses and a beard with long hair pulled back into a ponytail. He looked so… _alive_. And… was he staring back at him?

“Oh no. oh no, come on.” the man grunted, pushing himself up off of the floor and onto his feet. The scientists chattered amongst themselves as Dr. Freeman squinted at Benrey and blinked a few times, seeming to not trust his eyes. “That’s real. That- that’s real, right?”

“The wall?” Dr. Bubby asked, looking behind himself and straight through Benrey. “Yes. The wall is quite real.”

Dr. Freeman shook his head in exasperation as the scientists gathered around him. “Tommy, Bubby, Dr. Coomer, you guys feeling good?”

“He- I’m feeling fine and dandy, Gordon.”

“Alright, on top of our games?”

“Yes, quite good!” Dr. Bubby replied enthusiastically.

“Awesome. You guys don’t see that…?” Dr. Freeman pointed loosely towards Benrey, who held his breath as the group turned to stare at him.

“See what, Gordon?”

“That’s, that’s great. That’s great. Um, I’m happy. I-I-I’m doing… I’m doing great guys,” Dr. Freeman stuttered, trying his best to avoid staring at the skeleton. “You know what? So hey, I thought we went to bed in the other room. What are we- did you guys drag me in here?”

“Yes. We rolled you like a barrel!” Bubby proclaimed.

“Why? Wh-why wouldn’t you just wait for me?”

“Because we wanna go home, Dr. Freeman!” Tommy whined, earning a groan from the player.

Benrey watched the group struggle amongst themselves in silence. His edit had gone through and had made Dr. Freeman the only one who could see him like this, though he didn’t seem to be in the best state of mind at the moment. Oh well, he’d just have to wait.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter where the plot will deviate from canon! Enjoy!

Slipping around the party was much easier now that only one person could see him. Dr. Freeman wasn’t taking this well in the slightest, however. Every noise Benrey made, every click of bone in the unearthly quiet of Black Mesa, set the physicist on edge. Benrey understood the man’s unease, but he only intended to talk to him. Unfortunately for the skeletal security guard, every time he’d open his bony jaw to speak, Dr. Freeman would turn his head and do his best to ignore the specter. Every time he’d managed to get a word out, he would call out to the party, drowning out Benrey’s voice. This was just unfair. Benrey was getting more frustrated by the second as the player actively ignored his attempts at communication. He balled his fists as the man quickened his pace to catch up with the others, eager to leave the skeleton behind. And for what reason? His slightly unsettling appearance? Way to be judgemental. Hell, he hadn’t even given Freeman a reason to be wary of this form! Those bastards had been the ones to shoot first! And he wasn’t even armed like this!

Clenching his jaw with a satisfying click, Benrey huffed a quiet laugh as Dr. Freeman jumped at the noise. He may not have had the best grip on what his data suggested were _emotions_ , but the rush from seeing the man flustered was a refreshingly cathartic change from the negativity weighing in his chest. Benrey decided that he didn’t like how that emotion felt, and he’d had enough of being ignored like this.

Reaching forward, Benrey gripped a hand tightly around a wrist of the bright orange HEV suit and tugged the man backward. As Dr. Freeman struggled against Benrey’s grasp and opened his mouth to shout for help, Benrey hurriedly spat a burst of calming blue sweet voice as he covered the man’s mouth with his other hand. Dragging Dr. Freeman into the shadows a fair distance away from the group, Benrey uncovered his captive’s mouth while keeping his hold on Freeman’s wrist.

“bro-bro, i know this looks bad, but just-”

“B-Benrey?!” the man stared back incredulously at the skeleton.

“...duh?” If Benrey still had his eyes he would have been rolling them. “listen man, i just wanna- i just wanna _talk_ , but you keep ignoring me! s’not cool…”

“Benrey… we-we _saw_ you die!”

“things change, bro,” Benrey shrugged and Dr. Freeman sighed heavily. “so look, man… i’d appreciate if you didn’t, uh, shoot me? fuckin’ hurt.”

“Oh, uh…” Dr. Freeman scratched at the back of his head with his free hand, eyes cast downwards. “You scared us, dude. I mean, we _are_ being hunted down by aliens and shit.”

“yeah, but i didn’t hurt you. i wasn’t gonna hu-”

Benrey suddenly tensed up as pain jolted through his body once more. Releasing his grip on Freeman’s wrist, Benrey curled in on himself and groaned quietly.

“...Benrey?”

“fuck.” the guard hissed through clenched teeth as he shakily knelt to the floor. His head ached and it felt like he was being crushed from the inside-out by some unseeable force. Why did the pain always seem worse than it had been the last time? Unfortunately, thinking about the pain wasn’t going to make it any easier to deal with. And now this guy had a front-row seat to the show.

“Jesus, dude- wh-what’s wrong with you?! I mean, besides the whole, skeleton… thing?”

“......glitch.”

If Benrey could have even raised his head through the unbearable pain he would have seen Dr. Freeman’s eyes widen at that word, but the world blurred in Benrey’s vision as he swayed slowly in place. Shutting his nonexistent eyes helped him to not feel as dizzy, but Benrey was hopelessly aware of the pain forcing him into this pitiful state. He distantly registered the feeling of something resting on his shoulders but he didn’t dare to look. The added weight helped to stop the swaying, but Benrey still found himself shaking as his hands scraped at the dirty floor beneath him. He could hear Dr. Freeman muttering something under his breath but Benrey couldn’t be bothered to try to listen.

“...want it to stop,” Benrey mumbled, shaking his head. “hurts.”

“Do you uh, do you know what triggered it?” Dr. Freeman’s voice was closer than before. More gentle too. God, he must have been in bad shape.

Benrey tried to think, pushing aside the pain as much as he could for the sake of some conclusion. He didn’t know. He didn’t understand what caused the spontaneous glitching, but he needed to _try_. What did these stupid episodes have in common?

“i just fffucking, i dunno, man? all i can-can think of is. tryna be nice…?”

“Being… _nice_ makes you glitch?”

“i don’t knowwwwwww… i’ll just be doing something and… i say like, _’ohh i’m not gonna hurt you’_ and-”

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

Gordon watched in horror as the skeleton he’d come to recognize as Benrey convulsed in front of him. The words had barely been spoken before he’d fallen into another fit, this one worse than the last. For a featureless skeleton, Benrey sure looked like he was in pain, and it twisted Gordon’s heart uncomfortably. He tightened his grip on Benrey’s shoulders in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. Sure, the guard had gotten on his nerves quite a bit, but seeing him in pain like this was terrifying. Hell, Gordon had been scared since the moment Benrey said the word ‘hurt’ with such genuine… sadness? This was just supposed to be a game… a VR port of an old game… Why was this NPC experiencing what looked like real, physical pain? Why did it know what a glitch was in the first place? Gordon’s thoughts were interrupted by what sounded like a weak cough. Followed shortly by a shuddering retch. An inky black substance splattered onto the floor beneath Benrey’s bowed head and Gordon realized with dawning terror and fascination that it appeared to be the same consistency of blood. With a shaky gasp, Benrey collapsed face-first to the floor where he laid unmoving. Pixels buzzed and flickered around the skeleton’s edges before the model warped and faded, just like any other felled NPC.

Gordon sat back on his haunches as he stared at the puddle of black blood. His mind raced to piece together a feasible explanation for what he’d just witnessed. It must have been a patch to the game; some bonus content to really give the player a scare. He’d just been lucky enough to trigger it, that was all. There was no way some game’s AI would be able to feel pain or emotions… or anything really. They were just bundles of code after all. With a sigh, Gordon raised to his feet, intent on catching up with his party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a Tumblr sideblog for hlvrai stuff!  
> Find me at hlvr2-but-the-ai


	6. Chapter 6

With a weak cough, Benrey opened his eyes to find himself sitting in the black void once more. He was starting to get sick of this place. The lingering pain of his most recent death made his chest and throat burn like he had swallowed fire. His most recent death… he hadn’t even been injured that time! He had been talking to the player, to Dr. Freeman, and he had tried to explain his problem. The stupid glitch that was causing him this pain, was it _really_ caused by him trying to be nice? It sure seemed to be that way now that he’d thought about it.

Benrey laughed bitterly at the memory of being incapacitated by his glitched code right in front of the player, not once, but twice, and merely minutes apart. He hated that; the way Dr. Freeman had panicked, that should have made him want to laugh. Instead, the man’s panic had only lead to a dizzying mix of confusion and fear. Teasing Freeman was something that Benrey enjoyed, sparked by some primal urge within his AI, possibly out of boredom. The player’s concern had been a shock to Benrey’s system. It had felt… _nice_ in a way, but undeserved. Concern was something to be saved for the rest of the party when they got injured, for those unaware idiots who followed their coding to the script. For the NPCs that were _supposed_ to follow the player, unlike Benrey.

Benrey stared into the pitch-black nothingness that surrounded him as he sat motionlessly, lost in thought. What was he supposed to do from this point forward? Be mean to Dr. Freeman and the rest of the NPCs? As much as he enjoyed getting a rise out of the player, Benrey had to admit that he didn’t much enjoy the idea of continually antagonizing him for no real reason anymore. When Dr. Freeman had simply been a stranger behind an HEV suit and helmet, Benrey hadn’t felt any sort of remorse for being a dick to the guy. But now… he’d seen the man’s face and experienced his kindness firsthand, even if the guy had no idea Benrey could even feel anything to begin with. It felt wrong to turn around and burn the first person to show him any sympathy. But no, this damn glitch wouldn’t _let_ Benrey be nice, not without causing him pain. It didn’t matter that his initial fascination with the player was beginning to change into… well, he didn’t really know, emotions were confusing as hell. Nevertheless, nothing would change if he didn’t bite the bullet and join the crew again.

To say that Freeman had jumped at Benrey’s sudden reappearance would be an understatement. Benrey had spawned right in the middle of the party having a conversation, causing the man to let out a rather undignified yelp of fear. The other scientists had been startled by the outburst but were otherwise calm as they stared at Dr. Freeman in confusion. Great, that meant-

“Oh come on, am i-am i still the fucking skeleton?” Benrey spat in annoyance as he observed his boney features.

“Benrey?!” Dr. Freeman shouted, causing the others to react with varying amounts of confusion.

“Gordon, are you haunted?” Dr. Coomer questioned, tilting his head as he stared through Benrey’s invisible form.

“Y-what? No! At-at least I don’t think so?”

“oh shit, uh. bro, they can’t see me like this,” Benrey stated flatly as he idly scratched the back of his skull. “i’m invisible n’ stuff.”

Dr. Freeman pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply. Benrey was back from the dead again, and of _course_ he was still the only one able to see him. He really was not in the mood for dancing around this issue in front of the others.

“Look, I’m- okay. Benrey? The security guard guy? He’s back, and he-he’s the fucking skeleton! The one we all saw together!”

“The-the one we all shot at, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy asked as he fidgeted with the gun in his hands. Dr. Freeman froze at the innocent question, glancing at Benrey who was now looking away from the group.

“Y-yeah, that skeleton.”

“Oh… We’re sorry, Benrey!” Tommy called out, unsure of where to direct his voice.

“I’m not!” Dr. Bubby scoffed, crossing his arms.

Benrey stood across from the party next to Dr. Freeman in the dimly lit room. Did they really think their lame half-assed apology was enough for him to brush that aside?

“you… you guys tried to mow me down like i was some low level monster to grind EXP on,” Benrey growled. “i didn’t- it’s not like i attacked you or anything… but it’s not like you can hear me, so it’s whatever, man…”

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

Gordon couldn’t help but steal backward glances at the skeleton lingering behind their group as they continued their journey through the depths of Black Mesa. If he didn’t know any better, he’d assume that Benrey was sulking behind that boney facade. And if he was, he wouldn’t blame him; the others had seemingly forgotten about Benrey the moment the apology was uttered. But no, that was absurd. NPCs didn’t have feelings or emotions! Sure, they could be _programmed_ to act like they did, but that didn’t make any of it real. Benrey was just… uniquely coded to react to things realistically. It wasn’t like the others didn’t act realistically to some degree either, Benrey had just stuck out the most in Gordon’s mind since their conversation about some “glitch”… that was something Gordon was _not_ going to dwell on. He had more important things to think about, like navigating his way safely through numerous rooms filled with toxic waste while accompanied by the most chaotic party he had the displeasure of being stuck with. And more goddamn aliens behind every corner apparently.

Gordon instinctively ducked behind a wall as Tommy shot at an angry peeper puppy. Unearthly howling and screeching rivaled the human shouts echoing from the corridor, but Gordon had faith in his companions. A thin boney hand snapped the man from his thoughts, however. Whipping around, ready to face an adversary, Gordon was met with an expressionless skeleton.

“whoa bro, chill.”

“Jesus! Dude- Benrey, I almost shot you!”

“but ya didn’t.”

“Yeah but- ugh…” Gordon sighed, shaking his head. “Look, what did you want?”

He waited as the skeleton opened and closed its mouth repeatedly as if he was thinking of what to say. Gordon didn’t know what he’d been expecting honestly, this was Benrey after all. It wouldn’t be the least bit surprising for Benrey to stop him in the middle of a serious situation like this one only to distract him or say something that made no sense, or ask him for his _damn passport again_ , or-

“i uh, i got a bad feeling about this, bro.”


	7. Chapter 7

“What do you _mean_ you’ve got a bad feeling about this?” the man in the HEV suit snapped. “About being trapped down here with a bunch of aliens? You’ve got a _bad feeling_ about being thousands of miles below the surface with deadly fucking alien monsters?!”

“bro, bro you need to chill,” Benrey raised his hands defensively as Dr. Freeman yelled back at him. “we’re uh, all in the same boat, dude. you don’t see the others going postal over-”

“That’s because this is a goddamn VIDEO GAME, man! You… god, what-what am I even doing, talking to a fucking game character like they’re going to understand shit-”

Benrey stared dumbly at the player as he sighed in exasperation and dragged a hand down his tired face. Why had this idiot’s cringe meltdown… bothered him? He knew this was a game of course, he’d known for as long as he could remember. But the man in front of him had stated it so bluntly, he’d just waltzed into their game- their _world_ and said that everything was fake… and now he had the audacity to say that Benrey couldn’t understand just because he was an AI?

“fuck you.”

“…Excuse me?”

“you heard me. or, what? game character’s too whuuuuuh, bluuuh-! fuckin’ stupid to-to know that he’s in his own game, bro? do i like, need glasses to be as smart as you, scientist man? i’m too dumb to know i’m a buncha polygons or whatever? is baby small brain freeman uhhhhhhh, video game racist or sumn? are all fleshbags as insensitive as you? huh?”

Gordon stared back at Benrey with genuine surprise. The last thing he’d been expecting was for the NPC to talk back to him, especially not like that. Benrey’s little rant had been ineloquent at best, and if he was being honest, it was jarringly human.

The skeleton standing in front of him stared back wordlessly now with its arms crossed. For an expressionless entity, it sure _looked_ pissed off. The tense atmosphere between the two was almost palpable as they fell into silence, listening to the scuffle in the next room. Gordon sighed as he leaned back against the wall and let himself slide to the floor. Benrey slowly mirrored his actions, almost mockingly, as he too lowered himself to the floor in a slouched position.

“…Was any of that… were you being serious?”

“huh?”

“Oh, come on-”

“no, not even an apology?” Benrey forced a laugh.

“I’m… sorry?”

“oh wow. A+. braaavo, dude. you uh, you _nailed it_.”

“Look, man- Benrey. I don’t know what you want from me. Do you seriously expect me to just, just _believe_ that I, I don’t know… jumped into a game with some sentient NPC?”

Benrey buried his skull between his knees and let out a loud, exaggerated sigh. “i guess not. but you, you’re our first player in um. literally ever.”

Gordon was at a loss for how to react. Of course, his brain was screaming at him to use logic, to understand that none of this was real. It was all a video game, one with… really good writing and a lot of dialogue branches. But when Gordon looked at Benrey, at the skeleton that used to just be some guard, his heart twisted uncomfortably in his chest. His personality felt too realistic, too advanced for a game like this. It made him think back on every time one of his teammates said something just a bit too odd for his liking. Every time one of them had shouted in pain or had acted out on their own. As Gordon thought it over, he realized that the moments stacked upon one another, he’d just been turning a blind eye. What if Benrey _was_ telling the truth… and what if he wasn’t the only sentient one?

“Benrey, I-”

**“Hello, Gordon!”**

Gordon yelped and jumped back in surprise at Dr. Coomer’s loud greeting. “Y-yeah! Hi, Dr. Coomer.”

“Were you talking to Benrey’s ghost again, Gordon? It sounded like you were talking to yourself!”

“Wh- no, he’s not a ghost. Was there uh, wasn’t there something you were coming to tell me? Or did you just feel like saying hi?”

“Ah, yes! Gordon, we have taken care of all the creatures!” Dr. Coomer announced proudly.

“That’s- you know what? That’s great! Let’s… let’s keep moving.”

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

Benrey hung towards the back of the group as the five men made their way forward through the maze-like depths of Black Mesa. Things had been going relatively well, though that gave the guard plenty of time to think to himself in the silence he was granted. His mind inevitably replayed his previous spat with the player, Dr. Freeman. He didn’t feel bad about insulting him in the slightest, but the provocation oddly hadn’t brought him his usual sense of satisfaction and superiority. Rather, it felt like a pit had grown in his chest, weighing him down whenever he thought of it. Why did emotions and interpersonal communication have to be so complicated? Benrey shook his head as if to rid himself of the train of thought. This wasn’t important. What _was_ important was the sense of dread he’d tried and failed to express to the player. It had only intensified as the party had continued along their path. Benrey had immediately decided that he didn’t care for this emotion, or feeling, or whatever it was.

Being invisible to most of the party didn’t help Benrey’s situation one bit. Certain that Dr. Freeman would ignore anything he said right now, he was forced into silence. He simply had to stew in his worsening thoughts and feelings. Which was totally fine! He could ignore the awful feeling bearing down on him, urging insistently that something was going to happen. Something bad, but that didn’t mean anything! They were surrounded by bad after all. He could ignore the pounding in his head and the painful throbbing that accompanied it. He could pretend he didn’t notice that it worsened with every minute spent in silence.

He… couldn’t ignore the game ripping away his control of his own body.

Benrey watched from a front-row seat as he mechanically moved to corner Dr. Freeman. The man had backed up against the wall, a mixture of confusion and dawning fear visible on his face. Benrey tried to pull back as he felt a wave of bloodlust wash over him. He didn’t _want_ to hurt him, but whatever had taken over didn’t seem to care.

“B-Benrey…?”

Oh, fuck this. He needed a way out. Maybe he could still… Blue sweet voice spilled from the skeleton’s mouth as he tested his voice. He could still talk at least. This would have to work.

“kill me.”

“What?! Benrey-”

“just do it.”

“N-no? I’m not just goi-AGH!” Dr. Freeman grunted as the skeleton’s bony arm elbowed him in the chest and continued to dig into the metal of the suit with surprising strength.

“i-i don’t wanna hurt you, bro. you have to kill me, before i kill you!”

Ah, there was the pain. The familiar, awful sensation that seized his entire body. He could only hope that the player understood how serious he was.

Panicked green eyes hidden behind glasses met the empty hollow of eye sockets as the metallic barrel of a gun was placed between them.

“thanks, friend.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the extreme inactivity! Things have been really busy but I promise this fic isn't dead!

Gordon inhaled sharply as the skeleton slumped to its knees, collapsing in front of him. Pieces of white, shattered bone that had been scattered about the dark room from the point-blank gunshot surrounded the now-motionless pile of bones. The man shakily lowered his gun as his companions eyed him suspiciously. God… what the fuck. How was he supposed to explain this when he barely understood it himself?

** *BEEP BOOP*   
[GORDON FREEMAN, YOU ARE WANTED FOR PASSPORT INSPECTION] **

Gordon’s skin crawled at the distant, robotic voice’s words. Passport inspection? Wasn’t that Benrey’s whole thing? The same Benrey who’d just begged Gordon to kill him? His mind was packed with questions he had no hope of finding the answers to. He was _so close_ to just ripping off his VR headset and stopping the game, but-

“That sounds serious, Gordon.”

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

Benrey allowed himself to drift aimlessly among the zeroes and ones of the void as he returned from death once again. A mixture of relief and melancholy washed over the AI as he breathed out a heavy sigh, blue sweet voice trickling out with it. God that had fucking hurt like hell. Being shot point-blank right through the skull was not something he wanted to experience ever again. The thought of potentially doing the same to the player sent a cold chill down his spine. Why had he lost control of his body like that? What part of the code was messed up now? Benrey just wanted answers but the game was seemingly determined to keep him in the dark. But he supposed that looking for answers again could wait until the pain had subsided. Benrey’s head ached so much that he could barely see straight, but more than just his head hurt. It certainly wasn’t the worst pain he had felt, but a burning sensation had spread throughout his entire body. This was new, and new meant bad if his experiences were anything to go by. As much as he hated this void, he was now grateful that he didn’t have to be anywhere physical as his fucked up code put him through another new layer of hell. He just had to close his eyes and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Waiting sucks.

With time, both the burning feeling and the awful headache faded. Benrey finally opened his eyes again as he looked around the empty blackness. Oh right, he needed to go back to the game. Benrey groaned as he dragged his hands down his face in exasperation. Man, he couldn’t wait to ge-

-wait. Hands. Holy shit he had _actual hands_ again. Benrey laughed excitedly as he flexed his hands. Finally! He didn’t have to parade around as some skeleton that would get shot at every turn anymore! Man, he had missed this form, he had been a skeleton for what felt like ages now. He had hands-he had _skin_ again, and he could feel the comforting and protective weight of his uniform and bulletproof vest. He pulled his helmet down over his face and relished the feeling of safety it gave him; a feeling he had taken for granted. This was so much better! He didn’t dread going back to the game as much anymore now that he had his normal body back. Well… “normal” may not have been the best way to put it. Something strangely felt _off_ , but Benrey could easily shrug that off as not being in this form for so long. He could worry about that later anyway, he’d spent enough time outside of the game.

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

Gordon and the others hadn’t exactly had the easiest time getting around the sprawling expanse of a labyrinth that was Black Mesa since Benrey had last left them, but the men could finally take a chance to catch their breath as they had cleared the room of any remaining aliens. Though they were doing their best to take a short break, with each additional absurdity among the crew, Gordon had become increasingly paranoid. Just trying to keep these scientist NPCs alive was enough of a challenge as none of them exactly had the best ideas. He was _so close_ to just calling it a day and saving the game right then and there. To relaxing and certainly not thinking about the game, maybe ordering a pizza. But a nagging voice in the back of his head told him to keep playing. He had to admit, he was very curious about what was going on behind the scenes of this game. Ever since he’d witnessed Benrey literally glitch to death, Gordon had subconsciously been on high alert looking for anything wrong with the game. Well, _more_ wrong anyway. Gordon sighed in concerned frustration as he watched Dr. Coomer play with the “barnacle” he had somehow equipped. Yeah… that was enough of a break.

Pressing the button for the elevator in the large, open shaft in the room, Gordon was relieved to see movement from above. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to try guiding his party down some rickety ladder over what looked to be at least a 30-foot drop. Reloading his ammo in preparation for whatever might be waiting for them, Gordon stepped back from the shaft as the elevator descended. While Gordon had been expecting a slew of headcrab zombies or other aliens, he wasn’t prepared to see a familiar security guard when the lift came to a stop.

“...Hey.”

“hey you’re not sup-” Benrey stopped mid-sentence as he grit his teeth in frustration before taking a breath and trying again. “-dammit, uh. hey-”

“Is that Benrey?” Bubby interjected.

“It’s Benrey!” Tommy grinned as he waved to the guard.

“Benrey, we thought you died! Oh, it’s always so nice to see a friendly face!” Dr. Coomer chimed in.

“yeah, i… got better.” Benrey shrugged as he lazily waved back to Tommy.

Gordon couldn’t help but smile at the surprisingly amicable reunion between the NPCs, though as the four chatted idly, Gordon hung back. Something about Benrey was… wrong. He acted just the same as usual, but the way he looked… had he always looked like that?

It was subtle, but Gordon swore that Benrey looked different than the last time he had seen him as a human. His eyes had dark circles under them, as if he hadn’t slept in days. And had he always been that pale? His skin was sort of greyish? He almost looked sick, but that was impossible-

“yo, why you staring, bro? cringe freeman got a cringe crush or something?” Benrey snickered.

“Huh-I-what?” Gordon stammered as he realized he had indeed been staring at Benrey for the past minute.

“Are-are you okay Mr. Freeman?” Tommy asked, placing a hand on Gordon’s shoulder. “You’re acting strange.”

“I just… I’m just tired, you kn-”

** *BEEP BOOP*   
[GORDON FREEMAN, YOU ARE WANTED FOR PASSPORT INSPECTION] **

Gordon groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“what the hell was that?” Benrey looked towards the ceiling, looking for the source of the loud sound.

“Wh-th-that’s not. That’s not _you_ doing that?!” Gordon stuttered.

“dude, i have no idea what that voice was.”

“You’ve been the only one asking for my passport!”

“yeah and that doesn’t magically make me know what’s going on.”

“But you-!”

** [GORDON FREEMAN, YOU ARE WANTED IMMEDIATELY] **

“Goddammit.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyy! Now that my writing project for a different fandom is done I can write more AI-ngst!

Benrey didn’t like this. He had finally gotten back to the group. He finally looked human again after spending what felt like forever as a skeleton. And now this weird, disembodied voice was yelling something about “passport inspection”? He _really_ didn’t like this. Benrey supposed Dr. Freeman didn’t like this too much either as he watched the exasperated player walk past him and lean against the wall only to groan loudly and cover his face with his hands.

This messed-up game had Gordon at his wits’ end and he felt like he was ready to snap. The solution to this problem couldn’t have been more simple though. He just needed to stop playing.

_Just save and turn off the game. Just turn off the goddamn game and this can be over!_

He needed to keep his cool; this was just a game. Taking a deep breath, Gordon cycled through the controls. The option to save the game flickered in front of him. Escape from this glitched hell was tantalizingly close, but something tugged at Gordon’s heart right before he could click [YES].

A thought that he had been pushing aside for hours now came rushing to the surface. A thought that completely sidetracked his original train of thought. Were… were these NPCs _actually_ sentient? The idea was insane, but Gordon had been traveling with them for so long now and he had seen so many inexplicable things. He’d written them off as either some new advanced AI coding to make the game more interesting, or glitches. He certainly couldn’t deny that this game had its fair share of glitches but at this point, Gordon wasn’t so sure that any of these characters had been intentionally designed to behave this way… As absurd as it seemed, the conclusion that these AI really did have some level of sentience was making more sense the more he thought about it.

The party had come to an awkward halt as they watched their player brood in silence. Dr. Bubby had quickly lost interest in the matter, turning his attention back to poking at the grotesque corpse of a slain alien. The others, however, were beginning to become concerned over Dr. Freeman as he remained silent. He was clearly still active, existing in the game, but remained unmoving as he stood with his head buried in his hands. Tommy was the first to step forward, carefully waving his hand just inches from Dr. Freeman’s covered face. The movement failed to cause any sort of reaction and Tommy furrowed his brow in concern as he walked back to the group. Dr. Coomer readily took his place as the next in line. He knew what he needed to do! He simply needed to be more assertive!

 **“Hello, Gordon!”** Dr. Coomer greeted loudly, clapping a hand firmly against the shoulder of Dr. Freeman’s HEV suit.

“Wh-!? Fuck!” Gordon shouted in alarm, pushing the scientist away from him.

“Goodness! Are you quite alright?”

Gordon breathed heavily, calming down from the unexpected shock. Everyone was staring at him now, Bubby had even abandoned the corpse he’d been playing with. The groups’ expressions ranged from confusion to worry and Gordon found himself floundering, at a loss for words.

“I… uh…?”

“you good, freeman?” Benrey asked, crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side with a smirk. “didja glitch out or something?”

“That’s rich coming from _you_.” Gordon snorted as the tense atmosphere began to lighten. “I was, uh, lost in thought. Y’know?”

“Oh, good.” Tommy piped up. “We were worried, Mr. Freeman!”

“I wasn’t,” Bubby shrugged. “and you scream like a little girl. Can we just ride the damn elevator now?”

“I do _not_ , and yeah, we need to go that way anyway.”

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

Benrey kept to the back of the group as the party continued their journey through Black Mesa, following along silently. He didn’t know what had caused it or why, but the pain was back. His hands specifically hurt like hell, feeling almost like they’d been broken. He’d known something had felt off ever since his last revival, but he hadn’t exactly expected the odd feeling to turn into an aching, constant pain. The most he could do right now was keep quiet about it. The last thing he wanted was to die from another glitch.

“-Benrey, are you listening?”

“whuh?” the guard blinked in confusion as he was dragged out of his thoughts. Freeman was staring right at him. Shit. “uhhhh, no?”

“Jesus,” Gordon sighed, shaking his head. “okay, okay. Look, we’re taking a little break right now. And you, uh, you’ve been really spacing out, man.”

“oh.” Looking around the hallway, Benrey realized that it was just the two of them. And they were sitting. When had that happened?

“Are you okay?”

“why would i not be?” Benrey rolled his eyes as he slumped forward and hugged his knees to his chest, careful not to move his hands too much. “NPCs are just bundles of code, man. are you getting sappy over a video game character? top ten cringe freeman momen-”

“Benrey, can you _not_ do this right now? I’m trying to be serious here. And I… I wanna talk about that. Uh, the NPC thing.”

“so wait, you actually believe me or something?”

“Well-! I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t stop thinking about it!”

“hell yeah, score 1 for benreyyyyyy!” Benrey laughed, throwing his head back so his helmet clacked against the wall.

Gordon found himself laughing along with the strange security guard. Of course, he’d wanted to ask more things, but he could already hear the others walking back down the hall with their looted cans of soda. That and… he didn’t want to ruin his happy moment with his real concern. He’d _known_ that something looked different about Benrey, and their short break had given Gordon the chance to really look at him.

His face and hands were a pale, almost stony grey compared to what he was sure had been a more normal complexion initially and his smile revealed teeth that were just a bit too sharp. Of course, Benrey’s odd change in appearance had set off warning bells in Gordon’s mind, but part of him wanted to trust the guard… for now at least.


	10. Chapter 10

Just one more section of the game, _then_ he’d turn it off for the night.

That was what Gordon had been telling himself as he and the crew marched through the decrepit halls of Black Mesa. The short break they’d been able to take had given him a bit of much-needed time to catch his breath and gather himself. Sure, he still dreaded the idea of guiding the party forward; it was like trying to herd cats, but they’d made it this far already. All they needed to do next was turn on some generator, simple enough. The puddles of bright green radioactive slime did nothing to put his mind at ease though. The Geiger counter in the HEV suit clicked incessantly as the five men navigated the irradiated halls.

“Can you get that thing to shut up?” Dr. Bubby huffed in annoyance, crossing his arms.

“Wh- I can’t just turn it _off_ you know!”

“Well it’s annoying! And loud!” the older scientist snapped.

“You can-? Wait, can you actually _hear_ the uh… the Geiger counter in my fucking suit?” Gordon asked, pausing to look at Bubby. _He could’ve sworn that was only supposed to be for added immersion. It wasn’t like you could exactly avoid the radiation-_

“Of course I can, dumbass! I’m not deaf, you know!”

“It _is_ rather loud, Gordon.” Dr. Coomer spoke up, nodding to himself sagely.

“Well, I can’t exactly do anything about that!” Gordon groaned, throwing his hands up in the air. “I can’t just, y’know, push some mute button on my suit!”

“Do-do the uh… HEV suits have mute buttons, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy asked absently as he reloaded his gun.

“No, Tommy! No, they don’t!”

“gordon freeman, more like… gordon… loudman.” Benrey mumbled from the back of the group. “nah, doesn’t sound right.”

Trying his best to tune the others out as they kept talking, Gordon sighed in relief as he heard the clicking slow before coming to a stop. They hadn’t walked past any glowing puddles for a bit now, maybe they could finally be done with the radiation. Holding onto that small shred of optimism, Gordon walked ahead of the group to the end of the hallway. He was greeted by what looked like some sort of control panel and a large, open room. Looking over the railing, he blanched at the sight below. At the bottom of the steep drop was a large pool of the very same radioactive slime. With a bullsquid splashing around in it… and now it had seen him.

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

Benrey watched in amusement as Dr. Freeman narrowly avoided a far-reaching spray of acid from the agitated alien in the pit below. Flecks of it splattered on the wall to his left, temporarily coating it in a vibrant yellow as it sizzled and dripped to the floor. The player shot haphazardly at the bullsquid, unable to get a clear hit from this distance.

“you’re kinda shitty at… shooting stuff…”

“Well I don’t see _you_ helping!” Dr. Freeman hissed through clenched teeth as he missed another shot.

Benrey reached down to his currently holstered pistol, charily flexing his right hand before tensing from the way it ached. His hands still hurt like hell but the pain was starting to lessen at least.

“i’m uh… outta bullets.”

“Bullshit! You barely shoot anything!”

“mmmnope, totally sure it’s empty,” Benrey stalled. “s’why i’m not doing the shooting stuff. why d’you always gotta be blaming me, man? it-”

**_“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”_ **

Benrey was abruptly cut off by a loud scream. Bubby must have pressed something on the control panel as the small platform he was standing on began sliding along a track on the wall at a breakneck pace. The crew watched in shocked silence as it came to a sudden stop at the other side of the pit before speeding back in the other direction and rushing past them.

“Why do these things go so fast?” Freeman asked, taking a step back and turning to face the others. “Is this how- is this how fast they move on a daily basis?”

“I’ve read- it’s in the book! It’s all- this is all mechanically necessary!” Tommy answered, stumbling over his words a bit as he approached the edge above the pit with his gun drawn. “So it’s- it’s okay!”

Without hesitation, Tommy fired his gun twice. Both shots found their target easily and the bullsquid let out a dying wail as it collapsed into the slime. Shortly after the alien had been dealt with, the platform spun back to its original position, letting Dr. Bubby stumble dizzily back onto solid footing. Benrey breathed a silent sigh of relief amidst the chaos seeing that he didn’t have to use his gun.

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

“Okay…” Gordon breathed out shakily as he tried not to get vertigo from staring down the long drop in VR. “Let’s do this one at a time-”

He cut himself off as he watched in confused frustration as Benrey followed him onto the platform.

“No, no, not both of us. You are _not_ riding this thing with me.”

“i have to come with you.”

 _“Why?”_ Gordon asked, clenching his fists in frustration.

Benrey only stared back at Gordon with a puzzled expression. That was a good question; why _did_ he have to go with him? He had just followed the player readily without thinking, like his subconscious had willed him to… Benrey didn’t like that thought. The last time something like that had happened it hadn’t exactly ended well. And now he must have been staring for too long because-

“-you good, man?” Gordon waved a hand in front of the guard’s face.

“whuh? i uh…” _“no,”_ Benrey thought to himself. _“no, i’m kinda not okay.”_ But there was no way he was going to say that out loud. “i’ll… stay back here…”

Gordon watched him awkwardly walk backwards towards the rest of the party, maintaining eye contact the whole time. To be honest, he was thoroughly creeped out, but there wasn’t much he could do besides shrug it off and continue with the game.

Navigating a safe path as the five moved around the pit via the moving platforms was stressful, to say the least. Well, more stressful for some than others. Tommy and Dr. Coomer seemed to have no problem getting around while Dr. Bubby and Gordon struggled to keep up. Every second spent on the moving platforms had Gordon clinging to their railings in fear as if he were really there and in mortal peril. About halfway through their ascent to the generator, it finally hit Gordon that something was off. He’d practically been giving Benrey the perfect opportunity to make fun of him, yet he hadn’t heard a word from him since their climb had started. Steeling his nerves, Gordon looked down trying to spot him only to not see Benrey at all.

“Have- uh, have you guys seen Benrey?”

“No!” Tommy called from above.

“Maybe he stayed behind?” Bubby offered. before adding “Who needs him anyway?” 

“Y-yeah, uh… staying behind makes sense. He did say he was going to stay back…” Gordon nodded to himself and continued climbing. They were almost at the stupid generator anyway, he couldn’t let this distract him-

“Oh!” Tommy’s voice rang out as he climbed atop the platform above them. “Hi, Benrey!”

Gordon paused, taking a moment to process what he’d just heard. _What?_

“Gordon, we have indeed found Benrey!” Dr. Coomer announced jovially as he joined Tommy.

“yo, yeah you got me, bro.”

Gordon choked back a scream of confusion and rage as he slowly continued climbing. He’d seen way crazier shit than this while traversing the depths of Black Mesa. Why should he even be surprised at this point?

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

The sound of crackling electricity from the now powered-on generator echoed through the area. Benrey curiously peered over the edge down to the pit below as Dr. Coomer and Bubby fearlessly descended with their “ropes”. Tommy had already begun climbing down the ladder, completely ignoring any danger. Yeah, there was no way Dr. Freeman would make it back down _that_ easily. Benrey considered just manipulating the code to get back, but he was sort of interested in seeing how he’d deal-

“I’m gonna make the jump.”

“bro, what?” Benrey turned to face the player, taken aback by his bold decision.

“Gonna jump down.” Dr. Freeman said dismissively as he stretched.

“that’s like… a long way down. with the uh, all the electric stuff.”

“Mmhm.”

Benrey wanted to laugh at how bad of a decision that was, at how stupidly dangerous it could be, but he could only watch in shock as Freeman took the plunge. Falling to your death sounded like a really shitty way to go… the thought made something inside of him lurch as he watched the vulnerable _human_ plummet. Before Benrey could really understand what was happening he found himself leaping after the man in the HEV suit.

The two landed roughly on a metal platform below with a resounding **_CLANG_**. The impact made Benrey’s legs feel like TV static, but Freeman seemed fine as he cautiously followed the platform around the wall, circling the pit. Goddammit, this idiot really was just going to keep going, wasn’t he?

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

“Can you send it back this way?” Gordon called to the scientists below him, motioning to the moving platform on the next level down.

“yeah, please?” Benrey tacked on, causing Gordon to sigh in annoyance.

“Dude, can’t you just like… I dunno, teleport or something?”

“yeah but i gotta… gotta make sure you don’t fuck up like a little piss baby.”

Gordon rolled his eyes at the guard’s mockery before Dr. Bubby’s screaming demanded their attention. The angry scientist really didn’t like how fast those things went, but that was something Gordon could understand. At least Bubby was trying to bring it back over this way. Now all he had to do was ready himself for the next jump; this one would be a lot riskier than the last. He didn’t want to think about the margin of error though, not now when he could see the platform approaching.

Holding his breath in anticipation, Gordon jumped once more.

And missed.

Benrey stared in stunned silence as Gordon fell. The player’s panicked screaming filled him with an icy sense of dread as he felt his artificial heart drop. Benrey had never actually seen Dr. Freeman die; He sounded so _scared_ … could the player even respawn like he could?

_“fuck!”_

Benrey hurriedly dug through a patch of code as he dove for Gordon. His fucked up hands screamed for him to stop, but he was determined to close the distance between them. He reached out, finally making contact and grabbing onto the suit’s left arm. Benrey could practically feel whatever stupid glitch was targeting him winding up to punch him in the gut, but he had more pressing matters to worry about. They were falling really fucking _fast_.

Ignoring the loud clicking of the counter in the HEV suit and Dr. Freeman yelling right in his face, Benrey twisted in midair. Every bone in his hands felt like they were threatening to shatter, but the guard grit his teeth and did his best to ignore it. Shifting his weight sideways, Benrey caused them to turn until he was the one closer to the ground. He really didn’t want to die again, but the fear of potentially losing their first-ever player outweighed that of his own life.

“gh-fffucking…! hang on, man!”

Why did Gordon look upset?

** _SPLASH_ **   
** _CRUNCH_ **


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Between school and medical issues, this took much longer to get out than expected... that being said- this is far from over! I hope that you'll continue to enjoy the AI-ngst~

Fuck. Being slammed into the bottom of a radioactive slime-filled pit by the force of gravity and the full weight of a man in a heavy, metal suit somehow hurt more than he’d expected it to. Benrey had hoped that the impact alone would have been enough to finish him off but he’d managed to survive the fall. He could tell from the excruciating pain that he was currently in that his death was close at hand though. He could taste blood and he could barely even register his surroundings but Benrey could wager a guess that the orange blur above him was Dr. Freeman.

“-christ! What the _fuck_ , Benrey?!”

Yep, that was him alright.

“We-we’re, uh…… holy shit, dude.”

“wha-?” Benrey croaked before spitting out a mouthful of blood.

“Benrey, you’re… there’s so much blood!”

Of _course_ there was a shitton of blood, idiot. He’d just been fucking crushed from both directions like some security guard sandwich!

“Why- man, why did you… _shield_ me like that?”

“because i… i _-gh-_ i don’t wa-nt your d-dumb player ass to die.” Benrey hissed through clenched teeth. He was in too much pain to even know if the damn glitch was trying to mess him up right now.

“But you-! You idiot, now _you’re_ gonna die!”

“hah, no-t the… not the first time-”

“Wh-that’s not what I mean!” Freeman shouted in frustration. Boy, he sounded upset.

“man this is like… this-this is like, uhhhhh…… top ten saddesssst vi-ideo game deaths, bro…”

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞

Gordon wanted to be angry, to keep yelling at Benrey, and keep up this pointless back-and-forth. But… Gordon knew he was gone again. He looked so _broken_ just laying there. His arms and one of his legs were twisted at unnatural angles. Blood so dark that it almost looked black stained the guard’s uniform and mixed with the bright green sludge they’d fallen into. The gruesome sight wasn’t easy to look at, but he wouldn’t have to look for much longer anyway. The model had already begun to despawn; pixels flickering out into nothingness. Damn, he’d be lucky if he could sleep soundly tonight after all this shit.

The constant clicking of the geiger counter built into the suit Gordon was wearing grounded him back to reality. He was at the bottom of the goddamn pit. He might not have taken that much damage from the fall, but the radioactivity down here was likely draining his remaining HP. Standing and looking up from where he’d fallen, Gordon hoped he’d be able to yell loudly enough for the others to hear him-  
-When Bubby’s head poked over the edge.

“Use your alien barnacle!”

“My-? Wait, you didn’t give me one, did you?” Gordon yelled back as he cycled through his inventory until he saw something familiar. “Oh shit.”

Upon selecting the new “weapon”, an… _alien barnacle_ was equipped to his right forearm. Gordon stared at it in awe as he wondered how the party had even managed to _get_ these things. He was less than comfortable with the idea of a dismembered alien maw being slipped over his hand from the inside-out, but if it could get him out of this pit…

“You can use ropes to traverse pits, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer called out cheerfully from above.

Holding back his mounting frustration from hearing that sentence repeated so many times, Gordon aimed toward the level the other scientists stood on. He wondered for a second if this thing would work like normal weapons before he pulled the “trigger”. Gordon shouted in alarm and hung on for dear life as the barnacle immediately shot out its weird tongue like a grappling hook, pulling him along with it. He didn’t even have time to blink before it had dragged him to his destination. Gordon cautiously stepped down as the barnacle retracted its tongue.

“Oh my god, that’s incredible.” Gordon gasped, just thankful that it had worked without incident.

“Hello, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer greeted loudly, slapping the player on the back. “And now you learn to trust Dr. Coomer when he tells you about- -s. Hello, Gor-”

Gordon shook his head and sighed as Dr. Coomer stuttered and began repeating himself. It was endearing in a way, but he’d had enough for today. Leaning against the closest wall, he began cycling through the controls. He was ready to really stop playing this time.

“I’m- hey guys?” Gordon spoke up, catching the group’s attention. “I think now’s a good- uh, a good place to stop for the night. Get some rest, y’know?”

Gordon vaguely registered Tommy approaching him in his peripheral as he focused on the menu in front of him. The taller man leaned forward a bit with a worried expression on his face as he wrung his hands. He opened and closed his mouth as if he couldn’t decide on what to say, or to even say anything at all. The sheer humanness of the action made Gordon’s heart twist uncomfortably in his chest and he did his best to avert his eyes.

“D-Dr. Freeman? Are you oka-”

Tommy’s voice cut out as the game around them ground to a halt. 

[QUIT GAME?]

[NO] >[YES]

▓̶̷̜̤̱ͫ̇̉̊ͬ͢ͅ█̡̛̹͚̥͙̳ͦͧ͂͋͡█̝͌̋̅▀̧͙̭̬̦͛ͧ͐̉̃̍̿ͫ͞█̵̭͙͉͚̠̑̃̄̔█̱͕͖͈͙̗̺̱͐̏̎ͪ͌▓̋ͩ̈́̓ͦ͒҉͈̰̗̫̹̜̹͈▬̘͕̝̝̥͈̥̫ͥ̓ͮ͑̊ͮ́̒͘͠█̢̛̦̠̯̭̠̫̹̍̓ͯͅ▕̶̞̺̭̞̤͔̤̓͒́ͦ̏▓̼̉͞▀͛̂͏̨̼̗͔▬͌͑͆͋͗̋͏̷҉͇͔█̠̗̝͙͚̰͒̍͟͠▓͔̤̘̘̥̻͙̤̓̌̔͐ͣ̂͐█̸̺̫̞͎͚̟̳͎ͮ́̽ͮ̇͊̀̚ͅ▀̵̡̜̜̅͝█̉̐͛̾͒̈́̅҉̸͖̫̞  
̸̜̖̳̭̘̥̽̓ ̵̡̦̣̩͉̣ ̶̯̣͉͓̟̝͖̉̂́̊͑̚ ̶̛̱̗̼͍͍̲̙̮̇͌̒̂̎͋̇̋̕ͅ ̶̧̨̗̖͎̣̪̪̇̀̆͆̚͜͝͠█̸̡̢͎͒̈́̿͐̂̈́͆̕͝ͅ ̶̢̟̒͗͋̋̾̅́̒̉▄̷̢̛̟͕̤̮̯̉̓̀̓█̷̩͎͚͍̌̍͊͜▓̸͚̟̤̆́̈́̋̚͠▔̸̧̤͉̦͔̺̪̱̽̌̅͑̆̾͝ͅ ̶̫͈̩͈͕͈͚͓̩̺̎ ̴̢̘̥̖͙̙̮̬͕͌̏̉̋̀ ̸͕̗̭̻̪̭͑̆̓ ̵̢̧̢̢̧̞̹͇͖̓̈́̈́̓͋̿▛̷̡̘̲̻̳͗̏̿̆̈̀͠͝͠▯̵̻͍̦͍̫͆̑̓̀͛͜͜  
̸̢͈͙͕͗̎̄̑̿̄̇͋̚ͅ▓̶̤̦̣̖̻̖̽͗▕̷̲̤͕͔̌͜ͅ□̶̠̯͎̹̼̋̇̊̚͠▫̸͕̯̺̹̎ ̷̨̔̽̇̅̆ ̷̛̬̏̚͠ ̵̣̖̥̑̃͌̿́͠░̸̢̜́͛̒̆̍͝░̶̳̌͂͐̔  
▗̵̡̢̖̮͉͎̻͖̰̮̪̮̙̥͎̻̤̹̠̟͟ͅ ̸̧̧͈̬̦̮̘͓̠͢ ̵̨̧̺̰͉̖͙̤͚̝͖̳̹̜̻̘̪̲ ̵͉͔̘͍̬̪̰̰̯̠̺̟ ̴҉̗̪̮͍͜͡ͅ▕̧̟̳͉̗̟̪͜▬҉̢͏̢͎͕͕̳̪̲̫̺ͅ  
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Gordon pulled his VR headset off with a loud groan and sat back heavily in his computer chair. Setting the equipment to the side, he ran a hand down his face as if to somehow wipe away the experience. He knew that he was back, in reality, sitting in his apartment, but what the fuck. What the _fuck_. God, he needed some fresh air. A quick glance toward his window informed him that it was raining outside, however. Of course it was. Gordon sat listening to the steady rhythm of rain against the glass for a minute in silent contemplation.

The musty smell of petrichor quickly filled the room as Gordon leaned forward against the windowsill, the window opened just slightly. The risk of his glasses fogging up was well worth this grounding sense of reality that he could anchor himself to. Sure he’d been told that sitting in front of a screen all day would rot your brain or whatever, but right now he felt like he could understand that reasoning more clearly. It was probably a good idea to take a break from gaming for a day or two.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was partly inspired by how Benrey's model instantly ragdolls as soon as the science team is past the fire door in Act 1 and partly inspired by the song The Mind Electric by Miracle Musical!


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